Eclaire Fare

Enjoying Pop Culture, One Bite at a Time

Random Thoughts on TV: April 1, 2009 April 1, 2009

Here’s some juicy scoop I’ve heard about tv developments for next season:

Welcome to Winnipeg

  • In an effort to profit from the popularity of The Office, NBC has decided to turn the show into a franchise, following in the footsteps of CSI and Law & Order. So, in addition to our favorite office mates in Scranton, next year NBC will introduce two spin-offs – The Office: Winnipeg, and The Office: Miami. The Winnipeg edition will feature some characters who are fluent in both English and French, and since the boss will be a transplant from the U.S., they will speak in French when they are messing with him. In addition, the Winnipeg office will be involved in an inter-office hockey league, with much hilarity to ensue. The Miami edition will be quite a contrast to the cold landscapes of Winnipeg and Scranton. In Miami, the paper supply company will have a beach front office, and the employees will often take breaks to play volleyball with beautiful women in bikinis (in an effort to draw more male viewers). But to appeal to a wide demographic, Miami will also introduce a couple of retired, part-time employees – Gertrude and Herbert – who are grouchy, full of one liners, and start an office romance of their own. Look for a few cross over episodes among the three Offices next season.

  • With the renewed interest in the fantasy/supernatural genre inspired by the Twilight book series and movie, CBS has decided to take Beauty and the Beast, it’s late ’80s television series, out of the vault and give it new life. In the original series, Linda Hamilton played a beauty who was attracted to Vincent (Ron Perlman), a man-beast. In a bold (but potentially disastrous) move, CBS has decided to “pull a Starbuck” by having the beast be played by a female lead, none other than Britney Spears, who will attempt a career in television as a replacement for her waning music career. Spears will play Vivian, a beast-woman who leads a clan of social outcasts who live in a web of intricate tunnels and caves beneath New York City. After saving a beautiful man, Cavan, from a pack of wild dogs in Central Park, they begin a transforming relationship. Cavan sees past Vivian’s freakish appearance to her inner beauty, and the pair begin a magical journey into love. Casting calls are still underway for the role of Cavan, but rumors are circulating that it will go to Robert Pattinson, who may always now be type cast as “the beautiful man” after nabbing the role as the most beautiful man in the world, Edward Cullen.

  • Not all of CBS’ plans for the fall are as daring as Beauty and the Beast. One of its most successful sitcoms, The King of Queens, which ran for nine seasons and ended in 2007, is being resurrected… kind of. In the original show, the title character, Doug (Kevin James), and his wife Carrie (Leah Remini), lived in Queens, NY, and experienced the ups and downs of marriage, complicated by having Carrie’s dad living with them. The reincarnation of the show, entitled The Queen of Kings, finds the couple living in small town Kings, IL, where they moved when Carrie became the mayor due to a bizarre request in her great uncle’s will. Now, Doug is a stay-at-home dad with their adopted child, while Carrie takes on the adventures of leading the citizens of a small town. Part Gilmore Girls, part Mr. Mom, this show is sure to please audiences looking for empowered women, incompetent dads, and all around feel-good tv.

  • Not all the news is about new shows, however. Lost has decided to add some melodrama to its story by turning the love quadrangle involving Sawyer, Juliet, Jack, and Kate, into a love hexagon, by throwing newbies Horace and Amy into the mix. The complications that ensue require the show to add a bundle of new episodes, which means that for the next two summers, Lost fans who also happen to be ‘shippers will be treated to special summer episodes entitled Lost: Hexagon of Love. No matter which pair you are hoping to see together, the writers promise that no one will be disappointed, as there will be plenty of budding romance, break-ups, and make-ups.

Fox Reality

  • With all the reality cluttering the television landscape these days, you’d think there isn’t room for much more. But wait. Fox, the king of reality, has greenlit a new reality show called Death by Reality, in which network executives are forced to endure marathon viewing sessions of the very reality shows that they agreed to put on the air. Most of these men and women will have never seen a single minute of reality tv before they enter the “Boardroom of Boredom.” Viewers won’t be able to look away as Clay Aiken, the host, describes (sometimes through song and dance, sometimes by simple narration) the rapid mental deterioration that they suffer, the deeper and deeper they go into the reality vault. Joe Millionaire, The Swan, Hole in the Wall… No show is off limits as these head honchos get a taste of their own medicine.

That’s all for now. By the way, happy April Fool’s Day! 😉


One Response to “Random Thoughts on TV: April 1, 2009”

  1. moonstruck4 Says:

    Your post about B and B and Britney Spears has made me ill.

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