I’ve compared Glee and Vampire Diaries before, but since the shows represent two very different worlds, it is surprising that they found themselves on common ground once again on last week’s episodes. This time the common ground was that of a football field, as the game of tackles and extra points played a pivotal role on both shows. As usual, Glee had a more successful and satisfying result with its story of the week than did Vampire Diaries.
On Glee, what started as Kurt’s after school activity of reenacting a Beyonce music video turned into him becoming the savior of the dilapidated football team. (He told his dad that the dancing he witnessed was actually part of his conditioning for the role of kicker on the school team. And strangely, “Put a Ring On It” ultimately was part of Kurt’s and the entire team’s warm-up on their way to winning their first game of the season.
In other developments, Terri confessed to her sister that she’s faking her pregnancy, and they started scheming to “get a baby.” Conveniently, cheerleader captain and celibacy club president Quinn discovered that she is pregnant. She lied to Finn, telling him that he’s the father (even though they didn’t ever technically have sex), because she’d rather have Finn be the father of her child than the real father, pool boy Puck, who she had a drunken fling with on a day when she was down because she was feeling fat. Unbeknownst to Quinn, Terri has her sights set on secretly obtaining Quinn’s baby and passing it off as her own in about 8 months.
After a low profile last week, Sue Sylvester had a lot going on in this episode, from her warped segment on the local news (she promoted caning and littering!) to her continued quest to bring down Will and his glee club. This quest brought her to the home of the increasingly odd Sandy Ryerson (the fantastic Stephen Tobolowsky), where she had two of her best lines of the night after observing the sad state of his residence, which includes shelves full of dolls (“They’re my everything,” he said with a straight face), a “casting couch,” and Sandy’s much too short kimono. Sue’s lines of the night:
- “Well, isn’t this just lovely and normal.”
- “Boy, the only thing missing from this place is a couple dozen bodies limed and rotting in shallow graves under the floorboards.”
Not to be outdone, Sandy had a couple of good one liners as well: “I’m living in a cocoon of horror!” “Yesterday I ate nine cans of aerosol whipped cream.” Sue and Sandy’s pow wow led to a new partnership, with Sandy as the school’s art director, and Sue as his devious puppet master. Their first order of business was stealing Rachel away from glee club by offering her the lead in Caberet, while she was still nursing a fresh wound to her ego, inflicted by Will when he gave a lead solo from West Side Story to Tina. How dare a teacher encourage his students to come out of their shells by giving them a chance to shine? – I think I’ve made this sarcastic remark in reference to Rachel before. She is extremely annoying.
I loved everything about the main football plot of this episode, from Kurt’s shocking tryout (because of his musical accompaniment and his accurate kicking ability) to the last second team dance shuffle that led to their winning touchdown. Of course, it’s absurd to think that an entire team of jocks would agree to get their groove on with the game on the line, or that the kicker would be able to request a specific song every time he kicked an extra point, but I laughed enough to last me until next week’s episode, it was all so fun.
Unfortunately for the CW, I was little more than bored during last week’s episode of Vampire Diaries. Stefan and Elena grew more starry-eyed over each other, but he found some time to try out for the football team. His vampire quickness and reflexes make him a natural, and his star power gave him an in with Elena’s previously skeptical ex, Matt. Matt’s sister Vicki continued to perplex Elena’s brother, Jeremy, and things escalated to the point of a pre-football game brawl between him and Tyler. This situation presented Elena with a not-so-subtle clue that Stefan is different, when his hand healed almost instantly after a broken liquor bottle cut his hand. Damon, meanwhile, has himself a nice set up, since he’s glamoring Caroline into forgetting that he is feeding off of her. As far as she knows, she’s just dating Stefan’s hot brother. Damon used this relationship to receive an invite into Elena’s house. Now he can get in any time he wants. It’s hard to figure out what his game is, since he first told Stefan that he was going to try to put the past behind him and be normal like his brother, but then he killed the football coach to prove to Stefan that he doesn’t have an ounce of humanity left. I was rather irritated by this death, since the coach/history teacher was just about the only adult on the show. I’ve complained before about the absence of authority figures in Mystic Falls, and now that Mr. Tanner is dead, Vampire Diaries really is turning into Charlie Brown, with fangs.
Not sure why I’m still watching Vampire Diaries, but for the time being I will keep giving it a chance. Bottom line: on last week’s football-centric episodes, Vampire Diaries fumbled the ball, and Glee scored a touchdown. (Sorry – couldn’t resist at least a couple of football metaphors.)